


Tony Stark's Weird Ass Day (or Making Friends!)

by Anonymous



Category: Alien Series, Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Mentioned Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - Freeform, Sarlacc Game, Wranglers Are Not Adult Supervision, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27610312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tony Stark is transported to a strange place, where he meets a strange critter!(Also, totally a crackfic, enjoy.)
Relationships: Chestburster (Alien) & Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6
Collections: Sarlacc Game Collection





	Tony Stark's Weird Ass Day (or Making Friends!)

Tony... didn't know what to think.

He'd been chasing Gerald out of Pepper's goji berries. Alpacas liked goji berries apparently. Who knew? Tony thought that on some level, Gerald knew that it would get Tony in trouble with the other humans and thus, did it on purpose.

"Just, eat the grass you pain in the ass!" he'd growled at the alpaca. The damn grass was expensive as hell and they'd gotten it from someplace that probably charged too much. Pepper had insisted and he knew better than to choose THAT as his hill to die on. Who woulda thunk it, married life had taught him how and when to keep his trap shut. Why it was any different than the shit in the meadow? Whatever.

ANYWAY

There had been a flash of light, a shutter, and a sudden crash into something metal. "Damn it THOR this shit isn't funny anymore!" he'd said rather tartly.

Eventually, he'd thoroughly explored the strange room he'd found himself in. In some respects, it reminded him of the spaceship he'd shared with Blue Meanie on the way back from having a moon thrown on him. In others, it was like one of those escape rooms Peter had dragged him to before...

Right. A room, possibly on a spaceship, with no visible exit. Ok, he could deal with that, he'd been through worse.

Then, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. If he'd been at the cabin, he'd have assumed it was a mouse making a play for the popcorn kernels he'd stashed in the basement. Had to hide the carbs from Pepper after all. In space, this had to be something else.

There was an empty clear bowl over there, from a kitchen that had suddenly appeared. Random appliances and counters appearing should have bothered him more than it did but, he was too busy trying to catch whatever it was. He'd had plenty of experience with the "throw a bowl on it and scream" technique back when he and Rhodey had shared an apartment. That place had been like all older buildings in Boston, solid, well made, fascinating architecture and humans weren't the only living creature renting space. They'd considered themselves lucky that their problem had been mammals rather than insects.

ANYWAY

He'd caught the little fucker. After way too much scrambling and a few high pitched screams that he'd deny had come from him until the day he died.

Tony was fascinated, it was some sort of alien creature? It was so ugly it went all the way back around the hypothetical attractiveness circle to cute.

*SQUEEEK*

"Awww, hey there little guy, what are you doing here?" Tony will never admit that his tone might have slid into that fond tone he usually used for other people's cats (someday, he'd convince Pepper to let him get one) or Dum-E when he needed pepping up. Tony Stark didn't have those type of feelings NOPE.

It squeaked again and ate the piece of food Tony gave it with its sharp little teeth. Which, that food had also appeared randomly in the kitchen.

"Well, I guess we're friends! I'm not touching you though… not with those chompers." He said as the little creature turned in circles and then seemed to fall asleep.

There was another flash, and Tony crashed onto yet another floor. This was getting really old. This time it was wood, and wait...was this his living room?

He stood up, brushing the dust and other household detritus off his pants. "Well, that's gonna leave a bruise," he muttered just as Pepper came in.

"I thought you were gonna chase Gerald out of the berries?" Pepper asked in that way she had, where it was almost more an order than a question.

"I did...I was...I mean...going right now!" he said as he escaped from a further verbal grilling.

In his haste, he didn't notice the upside-down bowl wedged under his couch. An upside-down bowl containing the creature he'd just met.

*SCREEEEEEE*

The End?

**Author's Note:**

> Just, don't ask... it was a challenge. Crackfic gonna crack.


End file.
